Once a Thief
by QueenCheetah
Summary: They say some habits are hard to break... only problem is, there's not always a simple solution... 'M' for mature themes and insinuations; no lemon, sorry! BxR Tendershipping


Ryou Bakura was becoming increasingly frustrated. He had just started putting his laundry away, when he noticed that the stack of clean briefs in his drawer was undoubtedly shrinking.

'This is absurd...' Shaking his head, the older teen glanced over the remaining pairs. He'd had a sneaking suspicion for weeks that someone-or something- was nicking his knickers, and this all but confirmed it. There were barely half a dozen fresh pairs in his bedroom dresser, and only two in the just-finished wash.

'I should have three times as many washed sets right now!' The baffled light sighed as he tried to think through the facts. Normally, any evidence of thievery would lead right to his roommate, the former King of Thieves. It had been well over a year since the three Egyptian spirits had returned to the modern world, and while Bakura (for the most part) acted like a relatively civil house-guest... he still loved pulling pranks and causing chaos. Much to the chagrin of his overly-patient _yadonushi._

But even Ryou's charitable nature had limits; and a few days ago he'd confronted the other white-haired duelist, determined to solve the mystery of the missing underthings.

To which his unconcerned roommate had dryly replied, 'I only steal items of _great value_. And though it may surprise you, _hikari;_ your dirty undergarments aren't exactly a hot commodity on the black market right now.' And then he'd returned his attention to the 90's horror film playing out on the flat-screen TV.

'Hm... this is getting ridiculous...' Knowing that the other pale duelist was out (likely harassing either Marik or Yami Yugi), Ryou decided to sneak into his room and search around. 'By this rate, I won't have anything to even wear next week!'

The 'guest room' (as it was originally designated) wasn't very large. It held a twin bed, a set of matching dressers and desk, and a small end-table sitting next to a modest closet. 'I suppose the closet is the first place to check...' Ryou frowned as he tried not to step on the random piles of things on the floor. The 'dark' Bakura had some strange, almost hoarder-like inclinations. He often brought home things he thought might be 'of later use'. Of course, this meant almost _anything_\- from discarded construction site tools, to unopened bags of chips, to unopened packs of pens and permanent markers- could be found strewn about the quarters.

Ryou drew the line at actual rubbish being brought home, so nothing was broken or filthy... but still, it was an odd assortment.

'Guess it comes from his being self-reliant and resource-deprived for so many years...' Ryou often suspected that the accumulation of items helped act as a 'tether' for the former spirit. 'Aside from attesting to his thievery skills, I suppose they remind him that he's back in the living world again...' But the hikari nearly yelped as he almost tripped over an errant broomstick. He glanced down at the offending object, and noticed some bold print running along the pole of the broom. 'Property of Domino Megaplex Theaters'... oh, _for the love of-!_'

Pushing aside the tripping hazard, the teenaged duelist frowned as he finally managed to reach the closet. 'It's not like we don't have two brooms downstairs, but noooo- he has to risk being arrested just to steal from the _movie theater_, of all places! No wonder he was banned from that chain before Malik and Marik...'

The closet was in the same state as the rest of the room, and it took Ryou a while to confirm that his missing breeches were not hidden somewhere within. 'Then, where...?'

Ryou was just contemplating digging through the dresser drawers, when a faint triangle of white caught his eye. He quickly ducked to the floor and spied just what he had been searching for: almost twenty pairs of his briefs, all lying in a mussed pile beneath the guest bed.

_'Busted!'_

Ryou grabbed a few pairs and sat upwards while looking them over. 'I knew it.' They were undoubtedly his- Ryou wisely didn't trust Bakura to work the modern washing machine, so Ryou knew both of their sizes. And these pairs were all too small to be his roommate's garments. He gave a hassled sigh as he prepared to retrieve the rest of the pilfered unmentionables from beneath the bed. Evidently this was just another one of Bakura's stupid pranks. 'I can't even fathom how bored he must have been to come up with this one...'

But something seemed odd. Ryou glanced under the bed again, only to notice something strange (well, _stranger_). Not only had his larcenous roommate _only_ taken his briefs, but he'd also _only_ stolen them from his dirty laundry bin. Out of all the stolen pairs, not one of them had been washed yet.

'That's odd... wouldn't it be easier (and more hygienic) to take them from my drawer after I've put them away? Even if he was trying to accumulate them subtly, he could still just grab them one-by-one...'

Something wasn't making sense to the curious teen, and he decided to set a trap for the enigmatic thief. He left the pilfered items lying beneath the guest bed, and began searching for a specific computer device he kept in his own room...

The next day, Ryou deliberately left his dirty wash bin in the hallway before heading out for a few hours. He'd also managed to strategically place a small, video-streaming camera on the guest room dresser. It was aimed directly at the bed covering the stolen goods, and it was set up to record everything directly onto an attached USB stick. Though it was a clever idea, it admittedly wasn't hard for Ryou to situate the device in the chaotic bedroom. The camera was well hidden amidst the piles of assorted junk and random baubles, ready to capture evidence of the magpie-like Egyptian's misdeeds.

After spending most of the day out and about in Domino city, the devious light decided to watch the day's recordings in his own room. He quietly retrieved the electronic device while Bakura was distracted with yet another horror film downstairs.

'Now we'll see what's _really_ going on here...' With a victorious grin, Ryou fired up his laptop and plugged in the USB stick. He watched as a video screen popped up, and pressed the 'forward' button past the first few hours. The camera showed virtually no activity until later that afternoon. 'Which was right about when I went to the mall to meet with Yugi...' The door of the guest room suddenly opened and closed, very hastily. The recorded data clearly captured Yami Bakura, now inside 'his' room. Ryou watched smugly as the thief turned towards the bed, revealing two new pairs of stolen underclothes. _'Gotcha!'_

But then, something quite unexpected happened. 'Eh?' Ryou leaned closer to the screen, not sure if he was seeing things correctly. It almost looked like the former spirit was caressing the garments, embracing them; as if they were some sort of great treasure. Ryou's face soon began burning up as he realized that his roommate was not stealing his undergarments just to spite him. Quite the opposite, in fact.

The captured moments were becoming increasingly intimate, and Ryou grabbed for the wireless mouse. He could just make out the sound of Bakura's jeans being unzipped over the speakers, and he gulped heavily as he tried to exit the viewing program.

But just as his hand hovered over the 'close' option, Ryou heard his _**own**_ name being moaned aloud.

"Oh!" Ryou's face was well beyond burning now, and he quickly hit the button to shut down the video player. He paused for a moment, utterly baffled by what he'd just witnessed. 'Well, so much for thinking this was just about pranking and thievery...' He closed the laptop as he mulled over what to do next. 'I suppose the obvious solution...' Ryou swallowed heavily as he made his way out into the hallway towards the upper landing. His face was still red as he stepped down the carpeted stairs. Bakura was _still_ watching some random horror film on TV, but now he looked bored and half-asleep.

"Bakura." Ryou positioned himself directly behind the couch where his darker half was lazing.

"What."

"**Why** have you been stealing my underclothes?" The modern duelist tried to stress the seriousness of his inquiry by lowering his voice.

But of course, the experienced liar didn't even flinch as he coolly responded. "_Hikari_, I told you- I have no interest in your d*mned lingerie."

But Bakura wasn't the only one who wasn't phased by a change of tone. Ryou smirked as he launched into a full disclosure. "And **I** told you that I would get the bottom of things, one way or another. You forget, **Bakura**, that modern technology allows people to make movies out of almost anything... and almost _anywhere_."

"..." There was a moment in which the nonchalant facade of the Thief King briefly weakened. But he still didn't turn around; opting to keep his gaze locked on the TV screen that was currently holding none of his attention. "_Wow_\- what a fascinating lesson in contemporary capabilities."

Growing annoyed, Ryou stepped in front of the couch, closer to the still-distracted dark. "Forget it- I've got everything electronically saved. I have recorded proof that you've been taking my personal garments, which again raises my initial question: _why__?_"

Bakura tried to casually change the channel as he replied. "I was just trying to get on your nerves."

"Uh-huh." The sheer amount of disbelief in Ryou's voice was almost staggering. "First of all, that's a DVD case you're holding, not the TV remote. Secondly, I captured a LOT more than you might think. I had the mini-camera set up inside the guest room, pointed directly at your bed."

The pinched bandit felt his face heating up as he quickly dropped the film case and grabbed the real remote. "Never took you for a voyeur, _yadonushi_."

But Ryou refused to take the bait, and he folded his arms with surprising defiance. "I was only trying to solve a weeks-long mystery that **you** could've cleared up in a matter of seconds."

The TV was finally switched off, and the strangely flustered thief finally stood up and faced his other half. "Oh _yes,_ because you would have totally approved of my hoarding them like that." He watched as the odd grin on his hikari's face grew even wider. _'__Just w__hat is he up to...'_

But Ryou only stepped closer to the bewildered thief, his eyes gleaming with intrigue. "Well, you do know there's a simple solution for that?" Bakura froze in astonishment as his normally shy and modest hikari softened his voice to a playful purr. "The next time you feel like _taking_ something..." Ryou stepped even closer to the stunned yami, his expression turning rather sly as he added, "_...__you can j__ust come to __me__._"

There was moment's hesitation, in which the astonished thief waited for any signs of a prank, or a hallucination of some sort. His blood-red gaze searched the warm, cinnamon orbs looking back at him expectantly. "You- you're serious? You're not just trying to get revenge on me or something?"

"Mm-hmm." Ryou nodded, his nerves finally getting the better of him. He felt his cheeks growing pink as he realized he might've misunderstood his roommate's intentions. "Um, t-that is... if you _want_ to..."

There was only a second's hesitation, followed by a flurry of harried movement. In a matter of moments, Bakura had grabbed his precious little light; swooped him into a bridal-style hold; proceeded to claim his perfect, pale lips until they were both rendered breathless; and then positively _bound__ed_ back up the stairs to the nearest bedroom; where he would then proceed to ravish **his** favorite treasure.


End file.
